i burnt the pie

aphiliam won that contest, and her prize was seven minutes in heaven with Sirius. Quite exciting, I must say. Plus it freed doranenkahl up to finish licking off the cake icing I'd smeared on him earlier.

Oh-ho!

( I'm like Little Orphan Annie now, only with parents.Collapse )


( Apparently my head just naturally tilts to one side. My Left Brain must be heavier.Collapse )

Talk to me homies.

I have a bad leg cramp and my brother had to crutch me upstairs. This is sad business for yours truly when a kid who weighs a hundred and ten pounds is the only thing keeping me from just going to sleep right on the basement couch.

( You can't judge me; I'm bored.Collapse )

Get yourselves over to tomatoseekssoup's journal and read the first chapter of her original fic The Cold and Bitter Glow... it made me speechless.

Me. Speechless!!!!

As several of you will contest, that's nothing to sneeze at.

So. Need I say more? Oh bugger wait, I'm speechless, aren't I? How shall I get the message across...? I'm crap at mime, as a sad amount of people know.

*interpretive dancing*

I don't need a cow prod, do I? Le go!

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

(^ Hee... I learned a new trick XD)

*excitement*

All those wanting to join my fantabulous new book-club can go over to inyour_pants and request a membership, which I will duly grant, and then the fun can begin!

*dances*

*twists ankle*

*hobbles away for nourishment*

So.

How many of you would be interested if I were to, like... start an online book-club type thing. I know you all like reading. It would be kind of silly for you to come here otherwise (apart from my scintillating conversation, of course... >.>), so I figure it's safe to assume. But yes. Anyone strongly opposed to the idea?

I think how it would work would be I (or several people, whichever floats your boat) would randomly choose a book, all of us would take a week or so to read it, and then we would give our honourable and expert opinions on what we thought of it and whether it should be recommended to others or tossed out the proverbial window (proverbial, because book abuse is cruel.)

I just think it would be a good chance to read books we wouldn't have read before, and I always love hearing other people's insights on literature, good or bad... maybe I could even create a whole new community just for that, and the book reviews will go in the comments and for those who just want to okay/not okay the book without having to expend much effort can just use the shnazzy polls.

And then the books we give nod to--because they are amazing and we are amazing and the amazingness will blow everybody away--I can make a list of and newcomers can go to that list and browse the wonderful selection of reading material. Because not enough people in our generation read anymore and it makes Kim's brain weep with sadness at the stupid!

Yes? No? Shut up Kim, you are a nerd? (who is nevertheless open to opinions, any time, any place. *hopeful grin*)

Never again. That's all I have to say. 

*walks away grumbling*

*is gnawing on iron nails*

Okay. So I'm pissed. But that's all right, I'll cheer up in a minute. 

I give you, the sequel to The Upside of Being Down---> The World is Going to End so Take Off Your Sunday Trousers

*waits for fanfare*

Ahem. So my enormous and heartfelt thanks go out to iamlovelyand tomatoseekssoupfor their speedy beta'ing skillz/suggestions/concrit/funny comments that made me laugh even when I was a little bit hung-over. You two are quite awesome people.

Thanks also to vampyre_faerie, the beta of my heart and now Official Icon Maker for the sexy little number in my picture box right now. I told my brother when he asked, after seeing that picture, if I thought smoking was hot: "Not as a general rule, but damn, I'd kill to be that cigarette!" And lo and behold, the next day J has something for me that made me squee and giggle and act the overall idiot when I saw it. So I'm having her babies.

UNFORTUNATELY, because livejournal is a pansy or something and can't take all thirty pages, I seem to have been forced to divide my beautiful Part One into subparts, titled (a), (b), and (c). I suppose I could have just cheated you all and done it in chapters instead, but I promised a whole part, so here it is, not quite whole, but nearly there. (b and c are actually above this, but no matter.)

So here's the run-down. I will post the first subpart (a) in about twenty minutes, and then subpart (b) and so on, until the whole freaking thing is finally up. Does that make sense?

I'm so past caring at this point. *collapses*

[edit] For those of you new to my LJ, it is notably confusing. So now we've established that, I can get on with explaining things to you. Once you've hit this link and come to this point, it's very easy to navigate the rest of what I've got posted of Sunday Trousers because all you need to do to continue on to the next part is hit those handy green arrows at the top of each sub-part entry. You will be brought to the next one and the next one until there are no more. Convenient, yes? I have stopped using this community for anything but ficcage, for that very purpose. Happy reading!

Oh dear dear dear. Some of you seem to be under the (false) assumption that the sequel will be set in the time when Tia is all grown up and mature, possibly with a daughter who has blue hair and a nipple ring.

Dear dear dear...

I won't say much, but I will tell you this. Tia is older, but she ain't all that different. And she certainly doesn't have a kid.

Sorry to disappoint, loveable_pads! >.< Ack. There are people with nipple rings blue hair involved, however.

ETA:( The Requested Sequel Snippet. Snippety snip!Collapse )

Poo.

I need a new beta.

vampyre_faerie is leaving me. She is going off to become a jet-setting cosmopolitan. I love her and will miss her dearly. She's the only one who gets what I mean by "Mr. Pepperoni." And she laughs at my jokes and shares my nit-picking nature and thinks I have a cool Canadian accent. And if she doesn't make a stop in Canada while she's overseas, I'm going to get upset.

Is anyone interested in beta'ing for me? I'll warn you right now, I can get annoying and defensive and demanding... but I'll also love you forever and if you prove yourself I'll cherish your opinion, probably above my own. Since my number one pet-peeve is poor grammar and punctuation, the most you'll have to worry about is run-on sentences and typos. And if I don't already have you on MSN to chat to, I will be sending you constant emails because sometimes the only way to figure things out is to ramble to another person. J was really great for that.

*sighs wistfully*

Please and thank you. :( And please don't be offended if you aren't the one I choose.

*shuffles off-stage*

*flails without actually making any noise*

*squeaks a bit*

nnnyeeearrrrrggggGGGHHHH!!!!

*clears throat*

Is it on? Can you all hear me? Yes? Capital!

Number one on the agenda: Kim is not going to pick up smoking anytime soon. She has decided that toying with open flame is not a smart move on her part, as she is very clumsy and also values her lovely vermillion curtains. It's all to do with not liking the smell very much and consequently having to be spritzed down with eau d'oranges by the BFF, in order to keep her mother from having yet another reason to strangle her white and supple and equally valued neck.

Number two: Happy (belated) birthday jenntulen!!! Bonne fête ma chère amie et les meilleures souhaites de vos chums en la land de Canada! *tackleglomps* Your birthday present will be posted in a few days' time... btw, did you get my text re the details? Or is that yet another thing that costs long-distance?

Number three: Shameless pimping will ensue. DO go over to loveable_pads' LJ. DO read her new fic, entitled Fading into Grey, for which yours truly is the proud beta. DO leave a review to tell her what you think. DO NOT forget to pimp the fic on your own LJs. Because I love you, and you love me, and we're all a big happy fa-mi-leeeeeee....!

[/Barney homage]

Do any of you smoke?

What's it like? Worth getting into, would you say? Really expensive and bloody detrimental to my capacity to live... but I mean, the stress factor... it goes hella down, right?




Hrrnnngh... oh Sirius... you terrible influence, you...

*collapses in a heap of rum-soaked completion*

( Follow the Big Green Arrows, They Know What They’re Talking AboutCollapse )

Oh wow. Wow! One more left and it's finito. Over and done with. We are movin' on to bigger and better things. The Upside of Being Down is retiring to the Hall of Completed Works. Toodle-loo, crazy monolith that took over my life for a year.

Cor, I need a drink.

( For Hire: One Girly Mate, Will Do Back-Rubs, Expected Wages to Be Paid in ChocolateCollapse )

I've... I've finished. Tonight, I did. There's nothing left. It's all written.

o_o

*wanders away, babbling incomprehensibly to self about "the possibilities"*

Sup, niggas. I am in need of your assistance. Dire need. The essay writing's nearly done and in the bag, the critique is very critical but not too harsh so as to make silly ol' Maupassant weep his creepy eyes out, and I am pumped right full of caffeine with exactly seven hours until the time I hand all this shit in for marking. I don't plan on sleeping any time soon.

BUT. Oh my God, but. I have FIVE (5) art assignments due in on Wednesday. I have not started on a single one, unless you count a cow doodle I drew a few minutes ago to test if a temperamental ballpoint of mine was going to last longer than ten seconds' worth of ink. Mr Cow moos in the affirmative, so things are, against all odds, looking up.



What I'm asking for, then. Will you nice, kind, generous folks be really sweet and help my poor, over-worked brain come up with some creative ideas for things I can draw? They have to be ideas I can work with, obviously, because it's necessary that they come out high quality so I don't fail that class as well. If not clever and inspiring, then at least really bloody hilarious because I need a few laughs just now.

Which reminds me. SK is my hero, having lived up to his name once more today.

POTENTIAL THIEF: Yo, do you sell phones here?
SHINY KNIGHT: Sure do.
PT: *steals one* *runs away*
SK: Get your ass back here, biatch! *vaults over counter*
PT: *is brutally tackled*
SK: PWNED!! *does victory dance (maybe)*

I'm seriously in love with the boy. Him and his frightening hair.

I have the bestest friends in the world. No shit.

jenntulen was blacklisted from a Finnish bar run by a bunch of Aussies.

aphiliam found a rusty, possibly bloody knife on the side of the road and has vowed to eat nothing but carrots until she is eighty (unrelated events, unfortunately.)

And after the BFF found for me Shiny Knight's photo on the Graduation Wall of our highschool, I now have a good three hours' worth of taking the piss material which you can rest assured I will put to excellent use.

( You'll Not Be Wanting That Hat BackCollapse )

Right, no time for chit-chat, I've got to go to work in a bit, but THANK YOU AGAIN to every one who's been so supportive and sweet about my little outburst last night. You guys rock my socks and make my pants happy and all that great stuff.

( Blokes Are So MeanCollapse )

Okay. So, as I'm writing this, I've got about... *counts*... five pages of Ch. 22 left to get typed up, and then it's off to the beta, and then I've got to code it and make it all pretty-like, and a whole bunch of other boring poop I don't want to get into this hour of the night...

This is just to prove to you that I'm not slacking off, for those of you so impatient to read the next bit. It's a fucking mad-house in here right now (by "in here", I mean my home), and your author is feeling a tiddly-bit stressed out. As I've already told vampyre_faerie, my eldest brother is currently in the kitchen impersonating various birds at the top of his lungs, my youngest is in there with him, arguing with the dog, who is arguing back, and my mother expects me to survive on three and a half hours sleep, because she thinks I'm "wasting my life away." Then my father is unjustly accusing me of making all this bloody noise, and I'm starting to get a little pissed off at people in general.

I know I said I'd have the chapter up by tonight or thereabouts, but it'll have to wait until tomorrow, because even if I finish it tonight, my beta won't be able to get her hands on it until later. So I just ask that you all be patient, and whoever e-mailed me to tell me--and I quote--"youd better hurry teh hell up with the chatper, woman!"--un-quote--please either be less rude in future, or just stop it.

I don't mean to sound like such a bitch, but honestly, there's a line to cross and someone's crossed it, and that really hacks me off.

THANK YOU to everyone else for your support and patience. *hugs you all* *sobs on your shoulder*

I'm going to go find my happy-pills now...

I don't know if you all haven't guessed this already, but I lurve my readers all very very much, so anybody who wants to friend me will of course be friended back. It may take a few days for me to notice, but take no offense, I'll get it taken care of soon enough. I love friends! Yay for friends. Boo for ... poverty?

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

I LOVE YOU ALL.

REALLY, I DO. TO PROVE IT, I SHALL DANCE FOR YOU.

*DANCES. YES, IN CAPSLOCK, IT TAKES SKILL*

*GLOMPS YOU*

omgz! Jamie, you rock my green velvet trousers and matching Elf hat!



( There's the ThingCollapse )